Mathematical Poetry

Über Geometrie von J. W. Goethe:

Doch erst zur Tat erregt den tiefsten Sinn
Geometrie, die Allbeherrscherin:
Sie schaut das All durch ein Gesetz belebt,
Sie mißt den Raum und was im Raume schwebt;
Sie regelt streng die Kreise der Natur,
Hiernach die Pulse deiner Taschenuhr;
Sie öffnet geistig grenzenlosen Kreis
Der Menschenhände kümmerlichstem Fleiß,
Uns gab sie erst den Hebel in die Hand,
Dann ward es Rad und Schraube dem Verstand;
Nun aber g'nügt ein Hauch der steten Regung,
Aus Füll und Leere bildet sie Bewegung,
Bis mannigfaltigst endlich unbezirkt
Nun Kraft zu Kräften überschwenglich wirkt.

(aus: "Die ersten Zeugnisse der Stotternheimer Saline.
Überreicht zum 30. Januar 1828")

"Argument" by Bill Parry, 1934-2006

As he cleaned the board, 
chalk-dust rose like parched mist.
A dry profession, he mused as morosely
they shuffled settling tier upon tier.

Now, almost half-way through the course,
(coughs, yawns and automatic writing)
the theorem is ready.

Moving to the crucial point,
the sly unconventional twist,
a quiver springs his voice and breast;

soon the gambit will appear
opposed to what's expected.
The ploy will snip one strand
the entire skein sloughing to the ground.

His head turns sympathetically
from board to class.
They copy copiously.
But two, perhaps three pause and frown,

wonder will this go through
questioning this entanglement
--yet they nod encouragement.
Then the final crux; the ropes relax and fall.

His reward: two smile, perhaps three
and one is visibly moved.
Q.E.D., the theorem is proved.

This was his sole intent.
Leaving the symbols on the board
he departs with a swagger of achievement.

A poem from "Under Which Lyre" by W.H. Auden (1946)

Thou shalt not do as the dean pleases,
Thou shalt not write thy doctor's thesis
     On education,
Thou shalt not worship projects nor
Shalt thou or thine bow down before 
     Administration.
        
Thou shalt not answer questionnaires
Or quizzes upon World-Affairs,
     Nor with compliance
Take any test. Thou shalt not sit
With statisticians nor commit
     A social science
        
Thou shalt not be on friendly terms
With guys in advertising firms,
     Nor speak with such
As read the Bible for its prose,
Nor, above all, make love to those
     Who wash too much.
        
Thou shalt not live within thy means
Nor on plain water and raw greens.
     If thou must choose
Between the chances, choose the odd;
Read The New Yorker, trust in God;
     And take short views.

"Weapons of Math Instruction" by Brian Leiter

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later
discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying
to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a
protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft
said he believes the man is a member of the notorious
al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with
carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,", Ashcroft said. "They desire
average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off
on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret
code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as
"unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common
denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every
country.

"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3
sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If
God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction,
He would have given us more fingers and toes.

"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that
it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are
willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky
statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of
influence," the President said, adding: "Under the
circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our
point, and draw the line."

President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction
have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a
scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a
Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would
say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty
of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered
as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."